sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
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i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
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Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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