then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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