You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
