just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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