Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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