Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
