And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
