If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I wish i was in the wii world.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize