whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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