i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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