He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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