you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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