Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
