Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i think i have herpe
just one?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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