he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
