So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
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