if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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