We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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