i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
sex in a hospital.. check
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
