I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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