I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
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