just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
