haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
