Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
