i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
