Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
