I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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