i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
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Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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