Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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