Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
