what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
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when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I have feelings that need drinking.
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You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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