Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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