Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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