Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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