we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
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if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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