Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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