Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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