I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
