he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
