are you still at the devil's house?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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