Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
