RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
