I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
