Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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