Don't you send me to vm
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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