i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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