So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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