Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
