Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
