my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
