How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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