Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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