at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
