She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you win again, gameday.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
