She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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