she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We need to get me chipped asap
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
