At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
